Sometimes, it takes every fiber in our being to make it through the day of motherhood. Sometimes, we second guess our parenting styles. And, just sometimes we give in to our kids to simply get some peace and quiet. But every once and awhile, we have a day that goes semi-smooth.
At our Nov. 10 meeting, Amy Baggett, a Dallas-based speaker and author, spoke about her book, 10 Mistakes a Good Mom Makes.
Can you relate?
Some of the mistakes discussed by Baggett, included becoming a "Magic Genie," an "Extreme Home Makeover Mom" or a "Dog Trainer."
A "Magic Genie Mom" grants every wish their child's heart could even fathom. Typically, a "Magic Genie" mom is doing everything for their child. They please their child no matter what, Baggett said.
Parents need to find a way to work with toddlers, not just for them, Baggett said.
If you currently fall into this category, Baggett had some simple tips:
* Find where to draw the line.
*Work with the toddler - not for the toddler.
* Get into a routine cycle through out the day - do a chore with your child, then play together and then rest separately.
Teaching your children how to do chores at an early age will help teach responsibility and take some weight off your shoulders.
Also, durring rest/nap/quiet time, take time for yourself instead of scrambling to do all of the chores. You will be energized and will be able to give your children more attention.
An "Extreme Home Makeover Mom" raise their children the completely opposite of how they were raised.
Baggett gave an example of her friend who was the youngest of four siblings. Her friend often felt neglected and her parents never had enough time for her or took interest in her activities.
In turn, she became completely involved in her own children's lives to the point where they relied only on her.
As a result, dad could never change a diaper the correct way. Or the grand parent could never could dinner just the right way.
So, what started out with good intentions, led Baggett's friend into a whole new set of problems.
The "Dog Trainer" will most likely have a shelf full of childhood manuals, alway reward the good behavior and always punish the bad behavior. Their child will also likely be the best behaved child on the block.
This doesn't sound bad, right?
"If that's where the disipline stops, we're treating them like dogs," Baggett said.
As preschoolers, this type of "training" is fine, she said.
However, as teenagers, they may do things that peers reward and reject things that friends view as negaitive.
Instead, we should strive to have our children follow values, not rewards, Baggett said.
Mom vs. Food
"We don't want to be in a power struggle over food," Baggett said.
Many women in MOPS today, expressed interest in discussing food issues with thei children. If you're in WWIII with your child over eating habits, Baggett had these tips for you:
* As the mom, you decide what and when the child eats.
*The child gets to decide, if and how much they get to eat.
*The child must eat everything on the plate before they get more/different food.
*If the child won't finish what's on the plate, they don't get another option.
*If the child gets hungry, let them wait until the next planned meal.
*The child will likely be hungry and eat what is prepared for them at the next meal.
Our next meeting is Nov. 24 and our speaker will be from Cornerstone Assistance Network. For more information, visit http://www.canetwork.org/
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