Building Family Traditions

You shall teach them to your children, speaking of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up.

Deuteronomy 11:19

 Marie Jackson, one of our mentor moms, spoke to our Mops group last week about building family traditions. She also shared some wonderful stories about some of her family traditions.
 For Valentines Day, the Jacksons dress up in their fanciest attire, light candles and have a diner as a family.
"In my heart and in my head, I wanted them to have something to look forward to that didn't involve a boy," Marie said of her two daughters.
And on birthdays, Marie's husband makes the kids a nice breakfast and then they get to choose what is for dinner.
"It is a tradition that we've created that makes them feel special," she said. "It's super simple and easy. I mean I am going to have to feed them anyways, so there is no additional cost."
You can find "sneaky" ways to instill your values in your children while making traditions, Marie said.
For example, Marie doesn't celebrate Halloween, but wanted to come up with a way that her kids could get dressed and score lots of candy.
"Instead, we make homemade pizzas, dress up, play poker and use the candy as money," she said.

A tradition that touched us all:

Traditions give each member of the family a sense of belonging, Marie said.
And the No. 1 emotional need in a person is the need to belong, she said.
Since the Jackson's oldest daughter was three, they have taken a certain picture while vacationing in California. The image has always included her husband and children running out towards the ocean and then back pedaling on the shore away from the crashing waves.
For those who aren't familiar with Marie, she has eight children - four she gave birth to and four that God gave to her through adoption.
One day, her oldest adopted son was looking at a framed picture of the last time they took "the beach" picture, which did not include him. He asked when they could go again, so that he could be included.
Last year, Marie and a few of her kids made a trip back to California. Although she wanted the whole Jackson crew to make the trip, it wasn't a good idea financially, Marie said.
Unknown to Marie, her husband decided to take the rest of the kids out there to surprise her. They also got their picture.
"I will never regret that he did that," she said. "They needed to be in that picture framed on that bedside table."

 Tips on creating your own traditions

* Create traditions biblicaly-based first
"Our greatest responsibility as women is to share the lord with our children," Marie said
Examples: praying for a meal and daily devotions.
*Remember that more is just more
 Having a bunch of family traditions isn't necessary or important, Marie said."The goal isn't to win the award  for the most traditions," Marie said. "You can dilute the importance."
* Take inventory of  both your and your spouses traditions
* Remember that it's OK to have silly traditions.
* Don't be afraid to barrow some one's tradition.
* What do you do if you don't have a traditions? CREATE ONE!
* It's never too late to start a tradition.