Five Love Languages: recap of our last meeting

 

"As you study your children act with your family or other children, see what there love languages are. But, until you know, pour on all of them. You can't go wrong," Pat Thorton said.

 Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.1 Peter 4:8 

What is Your Child's Love Language?

Pat Thorton, wife of FOTP's Grapevine Pastor Charles Thorton, spoke  about the Five Love Languages at our last Mops meeting.
 She gave examples of the different types of love languages that each of her children and husband have and how she shows love to them in different ways.
"Your children speak all love languages, but speak one fluently," Pat said.
And, every person has a love tank, she said.
"When you speak their love language you fill up their love tank faster - it's like turning on a faucet," Pat said.

What are the Love Languages?

Love Language of Touch:  This would be someone  who wants to hug you all the time, snuggle or hold your hand. Pat said her youngest daughter falls under this category.
She would always say, "I want a hug .... I need a hug," Pat said.
Words of Affirmation: This would be someone who needs to hear your appreciation for them. Pat said her husband and oldest daughter share this love language. Each birthday, her kids get a little love note from their father, Pat said.
And her daughter's first full sentence was "I do it myself," she said.
"She is amazing and she needs to hear 'You did a great job,'" Pat said. "When you praise your child who has Words of Affirmation, you are fueling their love tank. When you praise them in front of others, you're doubling it."
Quality Time: Someone who loves you to do something with them - not just being in the same room with them, but participating as well.
Pat's son has this love language.
"He's very deliberate about spending time with someone,"she said.
When her son was 6, he went to a summer camp with his dad. After the third day, he said he needed to go home because his mom was lonely.
"I would encourage you to find one-on-ones or a date night," Pat said to those who may have children who have that love language.
Gifts: This would be someone who loves to give and receive gifts.
"They love the effort or thought went into the the gift," Pat said.
She also said, that this was her love language.
When her grandmother passed away, she found an envelope addressed to her, written in her grandmother's handwriting, and explained that her grandmother had given Pat her wedding ring.
"The note is still on my dresser," she said.
The gifts don't have to be expensive, they just have to be thoughtful, Pat said.
"When giving a gift," Pat said. "When there is a sentimental element, it makes it that much more special."
Acts of Service: Someone who expresses love by helping with chores or other services.
"When you see them helping mommy, then you  load on the praise," she said.

There will still be some hits and misses in parenting for everyone, Pat said.
"Charles and I certainly didn't do everything right ... when you concentrate on your family's love languages, love is going to cover a multitude of sins," she said.

*Our next meeting will be next Wednesday, Feb. 27. We will have the pleasure of hearing from Jennifer West as she discusses Meal Planning.

Building Family Traditions

You shall teach them to your children, speaking of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up.

Deuteronomy 11:19

 Marie Jackson, one of our mentor moms, spoke to our Mops group last week about building family traditions. She also shared some wonderful stories about some of her family traditions.
 For Valentines Day, the Jacksons dress up in their fanciest attire, light candles and have a diner as a family.
"In my heart and in my head, I wanted them to have something to look forward to that didn't involve a boy," Marie said of her two daughters.
And on birthdays, Marie's husband makes the kids a nice breakfast and then they get to choose what is for dinner.
"It is a tradition that we've created that makes them feel special," she said. "It's super simple and easy. I mean I am going to have to feed them anyways, so there is no additional cost."
You can find "sneaky" ways to instill your values in your children while making traditions, Marie said.
For example, Marie doesn't celebrate Halloween, but wanted to come up with a way that her kids could get dressed and score lots of candy.
"Instead, we make homemade pizzas, dress up, play poker and use the candy as money," she said.

A tradition that touched us all:

Traditions give each member of the family a sense of belonging, Marie said.
And the No. 1 emotional need in a person is the need to belong, she said.
Since the Jackson's oldest daughter was three, they have taken a certain picture while vacationing in California. The image has always included her husband and children running out towards the ocean and then back pedaling on the shore away from the crashing waves.
For those who aren't familiar with Marie, she has eight children - four she gave birth to and four that God gave to her through adoption.
One day, her oldest adopted son was looking at a framed picture of the last time they took "the beach" picture, which did not include him. He asked when they could go again, so that he could be included.
Last year, Marie and a few of her kids made a trip back to California. Although she wanted the whole Jackson crew to make the trip, it wasn't a good idea financially, Marie said.
Unknown to Marie, her husband decided to take the rest of the kids out there to surprise her. They also got their picture.
"I will never regret that he did that," she said. "They needed to be in that picture framed on that bedside table."

 Tips on creating your own traditions

* Create traditions biblicaly-based first
"Our greatest responsibility as women is to share the lord with our children," Marie said
Examples: praying for a meal and daily devotions.
*Remember that more is just more
 Having a bunch of family traditions isn't necessary or important, Marie said."The goal isn't to win the award  for the most traditions," Marie said. "You can dilute the importance."
* Take inventory of  both your and your spouses traditions
* Remember that it's OK to have silly traditions.
* Don't be afraid to barrow some one's tradition.
* What do you do if you don't have a traditions? CREATE ONE!
* It's never too late to start a tradition.

Volunteering with Kids

Volunteers do not necessarily have the time; they just have the heart. ~Elizabeth Andrew

Teaching young kids about volunteering can be tricky.
The thought of taking a 4-year-old to the food pantry would likely make even the most seasoned mother panic.
So, how do you instill those kinds of values into your child?
Kristen Horton, Cornerstone Assistance Network Director of Volunteers, discussed volunteer opportunities with our Mops group today.

click here to learn more about Cornerstone Assistance Network

"I think volunteering with your preschooler starts with age-appropriate conversations," Horton said.

• initiate the conversation
• find a volunteer opportunity that relates to them
• bring it down to their level - don't scare them
• instill compassion
• look for opportunities to bless children the same age as your children

Ideas on how to volunteer with your child

Reverse Trick-or-Treating:

Horton suggested going to a nursing home with your children and passing out cookies or treats to the elderly.
Making friendly conversation with those at the nursing home and bring a treat would likely make their day, Horton said. It would also, instill compassion, she said.

"I think a key to volunteering with preschoolers is mentoring and modeling at home," Horton said.

Thanksgiving

Put together food baskets to donate with your children.
"Let them see the meal come together," Horton said. "Let them go grocery shopping with you."

Christmas

Operation Christmas Child (we are putting boxes together at the next meeting, Nov. 14, click here to visit the website.) * Let your child help you shop for your child. If they're old enough, let them watch the video on the site. *Adopt a child their age, to help them feel connected.

Other ways

• Clean out the toy box. Let them pick out toys to donate, Horton said.
• Have a Peanut Butter and Jelly Drive at their preschool and then donate the items to a food bank.
• Buy large bags of rice and beans and then have your children help separate them into smaller portions.
• Prepare care packages for the homeless (toothbrush, sanitary items, non-perishable foods) and keep them handy in your vehicle.

"It's simple and makes your child aware of what's going on in the world," Horton said.

Cornerstone Assistance Network also holds quarterly workshops and could always use help with child care, Horton said.
Bringing your child to help out in that atmosphere could help your child understand, she said.

"It's all about connecting those items for them," she said.
 

-For more information on how to volunteer with with Cornerstone Assistance Network, email Horton at khorton@canetwork.org or call her at 817-632-6001.

Next meeting on Nov. 14

Along with putting together our Operation Christmas Child boxes, we will be making holiday goodies. Bring pictures to make photo coasters!

 

10 Mistakes a Good Mother Makes [recap]

 Sometimes, it takes every fiber in our being to make it through the day of motherhood. Sometimes, we second guess our parenting styles. And, just sometimes we give in to our kids to simply get some peace and quiet. But every once and awhile, we have a day that goes semi-smooth.

 

 At our Nov. 10 meeting, Amy Baggett, a Dallas-based speaker and author, spoke about her book, 10 Mistakes a Good Mom Makes.

Click here to learn more about Amy Baggett

 Can you relate?

Some of the mistakes discussed by Baggett, included becoming a "Magic Genie," an "Extreme Home Makeover Mom" or a "Dog Trainer."

 

A "Magic Genie Mom" grants every wish their child's heart could even fathom. Typically, a "Magic Genie" mom is doing everything for their child. They please their child no matter what, Baggett said.

Parents need to find a way to work with toddlers, not just for them, Baggett said.

 

If you currently fall into this category, Baggett had some simple tips:

 

* Find where to draw the line.

*Work with the toddler - not for the toddler.

* Get into a routine cycle through out the day - do a chore with your child, then play together and then rest separately.

 

Teaching your children how to do chores at an early age will help teach responsibility and take some weight off your shoulders.

 

Also, durring rest/nap/quiet time, take time for yourself instead of scrambling to do all of the chores. You will be energized and will be able to give your children more attention.

 

An "Extreme Home Makeover Mom" raise their children the completely opposite of how they were raised.

Baggett gave an example of her friend who was the  youngest of  four siblings. Her friend often felt neglected and her parents never had enough time for her or took interest in her activities.

In turn, she became completely involved in her own children's lives to the point where they relied only on her.

As a result, dad could never change a diaper the correct way. Or the grand parent could never could dinner just the right way.

So, what started out with good intentions, led Baggett's friend into a whole new set of problems.

 

The "Dog Trainer" will most likely have a shelf full of childhood manuals, alway reward the good behavior and always punish the bad behavior. Their child will also likely be the best behaved child on the block.

This doesn't sound bad, right?

"If that's where the disipline stops, we're treating them like dogs," Baggett said.

As preschoolers, this type of "training" is fine, she said.

However, as teenagers, they may do things that peers reward and reject things that friends view as negaitive.

Instead, we should strive to have our children follow values, not rewards, Baggett said.

Mom vs. Food

"We don't want to be in a power struggle over food," Baggett said.

Many women in MOPS today, expressed interest in discussing food issues with thei children. If you're in WWIII with your child over eating habits, Baggett had these tips for you:

 

* As the mom, you decide what and when the child eats.

*The child gets to decide, if and how much they get to eat.

*The child must eat everything on the plate before they get more/different food.

*If the child won't finish what's on the plate, they don't get another option.

*If the child gets hungry, let them wait until the next planned meal.

*The child will likely be hungry and eat what is prepared for them at the next meal.

 

Our next meeting is Nov. 24 and our speaker will be from Cornerstone Assistance Network. For more information, visit http://www.canetwork.org/ 

 

MOPS Fall Fundraiser

Hello!

 We are excited to announce our Fall Mini Session Fundraiser! All proceeds from the photography mini sessions will go towards MOPS and further our mission on helping mothers of preschoolers be the best mothers they can be.

 Adrian McCandless and Jen Sebring are both local photographers, attend Fellowship of the Parks and are members of MOPS. They are looking forward to using their talents God gave them to serve the community and help provide funding for the MOPS program at FOTP.

Schedule

*Available appointments are in yellow.

Rambling Thoughts

I know I haven't posted anything in awhile and I apologize for that. Things have been pretty hectic for my family lately. However, I am back on track!

Hope everyone had a wonderful Mother's Day - I sure enjoyed spending time with my husband and daughter.

Can you believe we only have one meeting left before MOPS is out for summer! What are you planning on doing with your kids this summer? Here is Marie's blog where she has listed out lots of fun things to do this summer. I am definitely going to try some of these.

http://giggleslaundryandthecross.blogspot.com/2012/04/fun-cheap-things-to-do-with-your-kids.html

How many of you are now making your own laundry soap and dishwasher detergent? I absolutely loved the laundry detergent sample that Jean Ann made and gave us. However, my husband did not! Seems he had a severe allergic reaction to the detergent so I am back to using good old All (free and clear of course).

I am going to try some of the other cleaners that she gave us recipes for - let me know if you do as well. We can compare notes on how well (or not) they work.

Just a reminder that our last meeting is next Wednesday, May 23.

Thanks again for reading!
Brandon

P.S. If you haven't seen this video, please check it out! Hilarious look at motherhood from Christian comedian Anita Renfroe.

http://www.godtube.com/watch/?v=FBCBJ1NU

Saving Money - One Coupon at a Time

I am not an extreme couponer. I am a mom who loves to save money on the things I purchase for my family. I don't need a separate room for my stockpile of items that I get free or close to free - I just want to save a little money when I go grocery shopping. Is that too much to ask for?

Some grocery stores are making it harder to use coupons, thanks in part to the show "Extreme Couponing". Thank goodness Trish gave us some great tips on how to "shop on a dime" at our last MOPS meeting.

According to Trish, here are the top ten things you can do to cut your grocery costs.

1. Make a list and stick to it! Don't buy anything that is not on your list - no impulse buying allowed! That's hard for me - sometimes the stores have great sales on items that I have a coupon for so I'll pick it up.

2. Shop alone - no kids or husbands allowed. Enough said.

3. Shop on a full stomach - I try really hard not to go to the store hungry but sometimes I do and then boy does my grocery bill reflect that!

4. Shop the perimeter of the store - live on the edge! The easiest way to do that is to make your shopping list out according to the way you are going to shop - plan it around the store.

5. Compare unit/bulk pricing - it's not always cheaper to buy the bigger item.

6. Samples beware - this is hard because who doesn't like free samples? If it's not on your list, don't sample it! Also, steer clear of  "action alleys" in the stores - this is where they display any items they want to introduce to consumers or items they want to get out of their stores.

7. Use coupons wisely - clip only what you need. If your family doesn't use it, don't buy it just because you have a coupon. (I am guilty of that one sometimes - especially if I think we might use it).

8. Discard brand loyalties - this was a hard one for my husband. He used to be a brand snob - now he loves some of the store brands more than the name brand items. Also, if you purchase an item and are unhappy with it - call the store! They usually will do whatever it takes to make you happy and to make sure you continue shopping in their store.

9. Shop less - instead of shopping every day/every other day, make one large shopping trip every two weeks. Then all you need is to buy your perishable items like milk, eggs, fruits and veggies.

10. Check your receipt before you leave - sometimes the cashier has made a mistake or the item has rung up at the wrong price. An easy (but time consuming) way to help keep track is to write down the price beside the item on your list.

Saving money doesn't have to be hard. There are all sorts of ways to save a little green here and there. One of tips I really liked that Trish mentioned was to buy whole chickens and have the butcher cut them up for you. You get the price of a whole chicken which is cheaper than buying it already cut up and packaged AND you don't have to cut it up yourself! (I am not good at that - in fact, my last chicken looked like something from a horror movie).

One last tip from Trish - shop after dinner or late night. This is the best time to do a large shopping trip as the store will be less crowded and the shelves are being restocked.

If you have any money-saving tips, feel free to share with us either on the blog or on our Facebook page.

Happy couponing!
Brandon